Yesterday was abysmal. Once I got home from work, the binge continued.
Yup. That says it all.
By the end of the day, I was operating in In for a Penny, In for a Pound mode. However, I got some great worksheets for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a great treatment modality for lots of disorders, and it’s particularly useful for dealing with eating disorders. I’ve used CBT in the past, and am familiar with the processes involved. Yesterday, I noted a shit-ton of negative thinking on my part, and the negative thinking led straight to negative behaviors, so I think it is time to ramp things up a bit and get to working on the root problems.
So I feel a sense of relief on that front.
I am also sincere in my desire to start up cardio again. There is nothing that has worked better for me as an antidepressant and overall mood elevator than the rush of endorphins after a workout. Plus, it is a healthy behavior that I can use to replace unhealthy behaviors, so it is therapeutically valid in addition to being one of the single-most beneficial activities for overall health and well-being.
So there, too I feel as though I am making progress.
This morning I started my day with a tall Bulletproof coffee. The days I made it last week in my short-lived trial of a Fat Fast, I noted that the BPC really kept me sated for quite a while. I already have my lunch at work. I put yesterday’s lunch in the fridge at work, so I am all set there. No extra prep time for me this morning.
I’ve planned out the rest of the day’s meals and am back on track:
I can take back control, I can, and I will. It’s a brand new day today.