Happy New Year

I’m back. In brief, I fell off the wagon big-time, and learned, unequivocally, that I just cannot consume carbs as a regular, routine part of my diet. My GERD gets crazy, I feel foggy-headed and tired, plus my  mood swings are insane. Also, my eating disorder still has its claws in me. I need to get back working on strategies for coping with stress other than bread. I’ve gained 20 pounds TWENTY-FUCKING-POUNDS since my last weigh-in.

All that’s past. I’m not going to berate myself. I’m taking what I’ve learned and moving forward. Prepping meals, weighing and logging everything helps maintain control when I feel OUT of control.

Yesterday’s meals:

Broccoli and Cheddar Soup for lunch




And Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo Spaghetti Squash for supper.




I’m going to be bringing my lunch every day. Now that we have a new year, the drug reps’ budgets are fat again, and soon we’ll have breakfast and lunch brought in every day. The good news is that I’ve moved to a nurse station far away from the break room, so I won’t be smelling the food all the time. No temptation.

Today’s lunch will be my favorite variant of meat-n-greens: Spicy Beef and Kale.

spicy beef and greens


Welp, I had a bingefest at work this morning. The drug reps brought in a bunch of keto-friendly things, such as pans of bacon, eggs and sausage patties in addition to the fruit and home fries, and I binged on sausage. I attempted to estimate what I ate, and I logged it into MyPlate, and I’ve got my daily calories already. What’s more, I feel sick to my stomach, both physically from eating 8 goddamn sausage patties, and emotionally-mentally from the self-loathing Continue reading Binge

On Water Weight and Introspection

Well, the Fat Fast was a horrible idea. Although the Bulleproof Coffee kept me pretty sated until lunch, my small portion of lunch wasn’t enough to keep my satisfied for long, so I was ravenous by dinnertime. On the second day, all I could think about was MEAT! Also, I woke both nights, quite hungry and had a snack, which I never do. The only times in my life that I woke for a midnight snack was when I was pregnant. So, yeah, I scrapped it. Since then, I’ve overeaten my carbs and my calories, so I am actually UP two pounds.

FUCK. Continue reading On Water Weight and Introspection

Love to Cook

I do love to cook. I enjoy prepping the food, taking care that everything is cut, sliced, chopped, diced or minced properly. And then, to cook these ingredients, and to make something where the whole can be greater than the sum of the parts, well, that is magical,  I call it Kitchen Alchemy.

But it doesn’t begin with the food prep, getting your mise en place finished. Even before that, I love meal-planning, recipe creation – I enjoy a stroll through Wegmans, looking at the produce, meat and cheese and waiting for inspiration to strike, which it always does.

Most of all, I love cooking for other people. I get a thrill when someone takes a bite of something I’ve prepared for them, and I hear that little groan of delight, or see that “Oh My God” expression slide across their face at first taste of good food.

This sums it up:
cooking Continue reading Love to Cook

Burger (and a Side Dish of Diabetes)

I do love a good burger, but who doesn’t, right? During my first run on following a low-carb diet, I was very strict about not having red meat. I was following the South Beach Diet, and the emphasis is away from the fattier cuts of meat, so I would only rarely have a small burger patty. This time around, I don’t have to shy away from red meat. I still lose the body fat, my lipid panel has always been spectacular, I feel great – no chest pain or shortness of breath, and my doctor can detect no sound of a carotid bruit, so really I have no extraordinary worries about atherosclerosis.

The mantra of the past 40 years has consistently been that saturated fats are the enemy of heart health, practically evil incarnate. I was a teenager in the 1980s when the low-fat trend began, and soon more convenience foods hit the shelves, more of what I call Not-Real Foods which had to be packaged in boxes because their life had been sucked  out of them, natural components removed and replaced with synthesized items.  Fat carries flavor, fat adds a certain texture and mouthfeel that we love. With the fat removed, the food industry had to do something to keep their new Heart Healthy items from tasting like sawdust, and feeling like cardboard.

Enter high-fructose corn syrup, the miracle additive. That shit got put into everything. Continue reading Burger (and a Side Dish of Diabetes)



cheesy tweets

Source – Cheesy Tweets

I, too, have dipped cheese into softer cheese.

I have also dipped cheese in hummus and guacamole.

I have made fricos and treated them like crackers, dunking them in guacamole, queso (more cheese), Buffalo wing dip (has cheese in it)  and of course, topping them with, what’s that? Oh yes – CHEESE.

Cheese was the #1 reason I could not sustain a vegan lifestyle. True story.

Sometimes, I want a quick and easy snack. That can be as easy as a 1/2-ounce cube of cheese. Sometimes, I want that quick and easy snack to be crunchy. Well, guess what? I found a product called Just the Cheese chips, little nuggets of crunchy, baked cheese:

just the cheese

Which go great with a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese!

just the cheese with laughing cow

Fortitude and Zoodles

As I’ve mentioned, I get a lot of practice honing my skills of avoiding food temptations, since my desk is right outside the break room, and lately we’ve had several days per week of both breakfast and lunch being brought in my drug reps.

As you can see, it’s no mean feat:

Monday, breakfast: In addition to the coffee (excellent, strong, dark roast – two thumbs up) and orange juice, we had some sticky buns and breakfast sandwiches. I’ll give Panera a nod, they did include a Mediterranean egg white sandwich. Although I wouldn’t be tempted to touch any sandwiches because of the carbs.

4 11 breakfast sandwiches Continue reading Fortitude and Zoodles

“How DO you do it?” They Ask…

And when I tell them, the predictable response is “Oh, I could never do that! I love bread/pasta/potatoes/cookies/etc too much!”

And when I say, “Oh I get it, I love everything about bread: Making it, pounding out my aggression as I knead the dough, the silky texture of the dough under my palms as it comes together, the yeasty smell of it rising in a warm corner of my kitchen, then the tantalizing smell as it bakes, to say nothing of the sublime first roll, piping-hot with salted butter melting into it soft interior, or a piece of my multigrain bread, toasted, slathered with butter and a slice of cheese, tomato and salt and cracked pepper… Continue reading “How DO you do it?” They Ask…