I wasn’t a fat kid growing up; in fact, I was fairly lean for years. I was never into playing team sports, but I was an active kid, and studied ballet from 4 – 14 years old, and enjoyed horseback riding, so I had excellent muscle base.

As I hit puberty and my body changed, the new shape made me uncomfortable. My mother, who struggled mightily with her weight, kept a critical eye on every morsel that went into my mouth, and here is where my complicated relationship with food had its genesis.

My weight would fluctuate, sometimes dramatically over the next few decades.

My History of Previous Weight Loss

Time Frame Where Diet Type How Much How Long Kept Off
Summer 1989 Weight Loss Center Low-Carb/Atkins 45 lb (165–120) 1.5 years (Fall 1989 – Spring, 1991)
Summer 1993 – Spring 1994 Year overseas Lower calorie/no junk + Constant walking 45 lb (160–115) 2 years (Spring 1994 – Summer 1996)
Summer 2006 On my own Low-Carb/South Beach Diet 85 lb (212-127) 1.5 years (November 2006 – May 2008)

Created with the HTML Table Generator Notes:

  • This chart is for significant weight loss. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost 20 pounds;
  • I have not yet been able to make it past the 2-year mark for maintaining the weight;
  • When I regained all the weight back, it was always gradual;
  • Each time, some real life stressor helped precipitate the weight re-gain:
    • I had an unpleasant encounter with someone, Spring 1990;**Edit- I’ll be 100% forthright here. The “unpleasant encounter” was a rape. Even now, it is very difficult for me to talk about it. I still have feelings of shame and self-blame. Upon reflection, I’ve come to realize that it does carry along with it a bunch of issues which have to be addressed. This will be the topic of a future post.
    • I moved overseas to work, was hit heavily with homesickness; When I came home, I got married, stayed at home and got fat;
    • I’d lost my job while in the early years of my separation/divorce saga;
  • In the interim from 2006 – 2007, I exercised pretty regularly, which helped with maintenance, I think;
  • It’s clear to me that I need to find a healthy way to cope with stress and crises that don’t involve binge eating or comfort eating;

 

And now, I’m back on the train, hopefully for the last, successful, time. 🙂